This story takes as its starting point Superman's first flight to stop the
Nightfall asteroid in All Shook Up, but has a rather different outcome, and
I suppose is therefore best described as an 'elseworld' tale. I would like
to express very grateful thanks to Sheila Harper and Nancy Missen, who were
kind enough to read the draft of this story and provide very useful
comments; and to KathyB at the Archive for some additional fine-tuning and
that extra typo! Naturally, any errors, inconsistencies or other faults
remain entirely my responsibility.

All characters in this story are the property of DC Comics, Warner Bros and
December 3rd Productions Ltd; no infringement of any property rights are
intended by their use in this work of fiction.

Wendy Richards
w.m.richards@hrm.keele.ac.uk

Superman struggled to continue flying through the stormy night, his energy
resources almost completely depleted. He *had* to get there. She would help
him. She would...

The wind howled fiercely, battering his exhausted body as he battled to
remain in the air amid the rain and the biting cold. He had already flown
hundreds of thousands of miles, and had stretched his strength to the limit
in order to destroy the asteroid which threatened Earth. He had taken an
oxygen pack since he had known he could not hold his breath for the
duration of the flight. But the pack had been ripped away from him by the
force of his collision with the asteroid.

He had managed to fly back, faster than he had ever before travelled, to
re-enter the Earth's atmosphere and reach an altitude where he could
breathe again. But he was now drained, his body more tired than he had ever
experienced. Other than his encounters with Kryptonite, Clark knew that
this was the closest he had ever come to dying. And he wasn't safe yet...

Looking down, he saw that he was over the ocean. If he fell now, he would
not have the strength to swim. He forced himself to keep going, although
his body felt both numb and, contradictorily, ached all over. He thought of
her, the one person the thought of whom could keep him going, who made him
want, fiercely, to live...

Land, ahead suddenly; the lights of a city shone like a beacon in the
midnight-black, starless sky. He wasn't sure; he focused. Yes, it was
Metropolis: there was the tower headquarters of Lexcorp, the Lexor hotel,
the Daily Planet globe, the twin towers of the power company. Not far now;
keep going, keep going, he urged himself. He was now moving much more
slowly, his big body losing altitude with every few yards he flew. A sudden
gust of wind hit him with the force of a hurricane and almost blew him
over. Drawing on reserves of power he didn't believe he had left, Clark
managed to stay in the air and fly on.

At last, the window. He threw himself towards it.

********************

Lois was preparing for bed, the TV tuned to LNN. She, like most of
Metropolis, had spent much of the evening waiting for news of the progress
of the asteroid, and had been immensely relieved when a report had at last
come through from EPRAD. The asteroid appeared to have disintegrated and
most of the pieces seemed to be on a flight path which did not threaten a
collision with Earth. Superman had saved the day yet again.

But since that report, there had been no news of Superman. EPRAD had
clearly been trying to play down that fact, refusing to comment on
reporters' suggestions that the Man of Steel was missing, that his
voice-link with EPRAD had failed, and that although their satellite systems
were able to track the position of the remains of the asteroid, they could
not trace Superman.

Lois had, for a while, considered going over to EPRAD, her memories of
Superman's departure still vivid in her mind. He had said goodbye to her
just before his take-off, and she had kissed him - "for luck" - just out of
sight of the assembled masses of the Fourth Estate. He had told her not to
worry, that he would take care, and that he would be back.

But he hadn't come back. And only the knowledge that she was unlikely to
find anything out even if she did succeed in getting past all the
sophisticated security systems and breaking into EPRAD had stopped Lois
from making the journey. Instead, she had continued to watch TV until the
news broadcasts switched their attention from Superman to the breaking
political scandal which was splashed on the front cover of the morning
edition of the Planet (another Lane and Kent scoop, thought Lois with no
little amount of satisfaction). Keeping the TV on in case there was further
news, she undressed and got into her favourite Superman nightshirt.

She was in the bathroom, brushing her teeth, when she became aware of a
strange noise. At first Lois thought it was the wind, which had been
howling ferociously for a couple of hours now. But it came again; it was a
banging sound; it was as if something was thudding against her window.

Pulling on a robe, she padded into the living-room and looked cautiously
towards the window. She thought she could see a shadow, although it was so
dark outside it was almost impossible to tell. Lois glanced around her
apartment, thinking swiftly; she suddenly grabbed a glass vase which stood
empty on the table. Walking towards the window, she brandished it in front
of her as a makeshift weapon.

The banging came again, this time simultaneously with another howl of wind.
But... was that wind? It sounded like... a voice. A voice... calling her
name.

"Lois...Lois..." The sound was weak, faint, the words carried away by the
wind almost as soon as they were voiced.

Lois threw down the vase, uncaring for its safety, and rushed to the window
to throw it open. There was only one person who was remotely likely to be
outside her window. The red cape flapping in the breeze confirmed her
suspicion.

"Superman... where have you been? EPRAD wouldn't say anything, but you'd
disappeared..." she exclaimed at breakneck speed, more relieved than she
could imagine that he was safe. Then, as he climbed, not without
difficulty, through the window, she noticed his state. "Superman, you're
freezing! And... you look so pale -"

Lois broke off suddenly as he stumbled and fell against the wall. She
hurried to his side and slipped her arm around his waist, offering her
support. "Thanks... weak... couldn't go... any further..." he managed to
get out, in barely more than a whisper.

Lois half-dragged, half carried him to her sofa, where she left him to go
and get a blanket. When she returned, he had not moved from the position in
which she had left him, and his teeth were chattering. She tucked the
blanket around him and went into the kitchen to make a hot drink.

Returning again a couple of minutes later, she saw that while his skin was
still deathly pale, he had at least ceased shivering. He managed with
difficulty to take the mug from her, so she sat beside him and helped him
to hold it to his lips. He drank in jerky gulps until the mug was empty,
then collapsed against the back of the sofa as if the activity had
completely drained him of all energy.

"Superman, what happened?" Lois asked, very concerned. She had never seen
him like this before. She had thought he was completely invulnerable, yet
here he was in her apartment weaker than a newborn baby.

He managed to turn his head towards her, and she saw in his eyes a
helpless, deadened expression. "Nearly didn't... make it," he tried to
explain. "No... strength... too far." He stopped again, the effort of
speaking clearly too much for him.

Appalled, Lois could only stare at him. "You could have died!" she
whispered in a horrified tone. "And I... all of us, we'd never have known
what happened. You risked your life to save the planet, didn't you?"

Clark didn't answer her. Now that he did not have to make any further
demands on his body, it had just ceased to respond. He had never before
been so tired, so drained of all energy. He ached all over, and he was
still so cold. His arms and legs felt like blocks of ice, and he wondered
if he would ever feel warm inside again. He lay back against the sofa
cushions and closed his eyes.

Lois had reached for Superman's hand as the reality of the danger he'd been
in had sunk in. She had intended to give it a comforting squeeze, to try to
let him know that he was safe, he was with a friend. But she was shocked at
how cold his skin felt. It was icier than the tub of Rocky Road she had
taken out of the freezer earlier that evening to eat while watching the
broadcasts from EPRAD.

Pulling aside the blanket, she ran her hands quickly over Superman's body,
to discover that he was freezing cold and soaking wet all over. She shook
him hard, realising that in his condition, if he really didn't have any
energy and his super-powers were failing him, he could simply drift into
unconsciousness. "Superman, wake up!" she shouted at him.

Groggily, Clark squinted at her. "Whassamatter... lemme... sleep.."

"No, Superman," Lois stated insistently. "You *have* to wake up. You're
freezing. I've got to get you dry and warm."

Alternately bullying and cajoling him, Lois finally managed to get the Man
of Steel into a more or less upright position and again half-dragged him
into her bathroom. She left him leaning against the wall while she switched
on the shower, adjusting the water until the temperature was warm - not too
hot, not until he had warmed up a little, and then turned her attention
back to her guest.

"Superman, come on, you've got to get that suit off," she told him firmly.
<My God, what am I saying!> she thought in amazement. <For months I've been
wondering whether the suit comes off and what he's like underneath it - and
now I get a chance to find out and he's barely able to stand!>

Since Superman hadn't moved in response to her instruction, Lois went
towards him and began to pull at the cape, attempting to find an opening.
He was slumped against the wall, his eyelids lowered. Lois shook him
vigorously, yelling at him in as commanding a tone as she could manage. <I
wish Clark was here> she thought. <Between us we could manage to get him
stripped and in the shower>. She briefly considered phoning Clark to ask
him to come over, but dismissed the idea. It would be at least twenty
minutes before Clark could get over, always assuming he could get a cab at
this time of night. Superman needed to get out of his wet things and to get
warmed up *now*.

But clearly the tone of Lois's voice had penetrated through the fog of
Superman's exhausted brain, and he began at last to respond to her
instructions. He dragged the cape off his shoulders and, turning around,
managed to tell Lois where the fastenings of the suit were. She undid them
and helped him to drag the top of the suit down, off his arms and away from
his chest. Then it was the briefs, the boots and finally the leggings.

Lois couldn't help herself. She inhaled sharply at the sheer perfection of
his naked body. His thighs were muscular, his chest and upper arms firm and
well-developed without an ounce of extra fat; his stomach was
washboard-flat and his buttocks did not owe their shape or firmness to any
exercise regime. As for the rest of him... She blinked and forced herself
to concentrate on the task at hand.

Throwing the last of his garments on the bathroom floor, she slipped her
arm around Superman's waist and pulled his around her shoulders and led
him, slowly, to the shower. He was shivering again, and, slipping off her
robe, she squeezed herself in beside him to ensure that he didn't simply
fall to the floor. She directed the water jets over his body, increasing
the temperature after a while as his body temperature appeared to rise.
When she was satisfied that he would be all right on his own, she exited
and, wrapping a towel around herself, gathered up the sections of his suit,
taking them through to the kitchen and throwing them in the washing machine.

Back in her bedroom, she dressed in a dry nightshirt and hunted through
closets and drawers until she found a large sweatshirt which she thought
would fit Superman. It was actually Clark's; he had lent it to her one day
when they were at his apartment and they had decided to go for a walk. The
weather had turned colder after she'd arrived, and she hadn't been very
warmly dressed. Somehow, she had never got around to returning it. She also
found a very baggy pair of shorts with a drawstring waist; she hadn't worn
those for several years, and only then for exercising.

Lois re-entered the bathroom and pulled open the shower screen. Superman
was leaning back against the wall of the shower stall, simply letting the
warm jets play over his body. He turned to look at her. His expression was
different now; no longer bleak and lifeless. He still looked exhausted,
Lois thought, but at least he now seemed aware of his surroundings.

He smiled at her, a faint smile, but still an improvement.

"Ready to come out?" Lois asked.

"Yeah," he said, still needing some effort to speak.

Grabbing some towels from the heated rail, Lois held them out to him. He
didn't appear to be particularly embarrassed at his nakedness as he climbed
slowly, stiffly out of the shower. Lois wrapped the largest towel around
his shoulders, handing him the rest, and went past him to switch off the
water flow.

"Come through to the bedroom when you're dry," she told him. "You can wear
these - the shirt's Clark's, so it should fit you." She placed the
sweatshirt and shorts on the
toilet tank, and went into the bedroom.

A few minutes later, Superman emerged, dressed in the sweatshirt and
shorts. That he was still very weak was evident by the way he staggered and
reached for the doorpost to steady himself. Lois, who had been lying on her
bed reading, dropped her book and went to support him.

"Thanks," he murmured.

She led him to the bed and let him lower himself down. He gave her a
puzzled look, and she explained with an amused smile, "You're hardly in a
state to go anywhere else tonight, are you, Flyboy?" He smiled wryly back
at her, recognising the truth of her words.

He was still cold, Lois realised. Not as bad as he had been; the warm
shower had helped. But his body was still cool to the touch, and his
colour, while not as pallid as it had been before, was not back to normal.
Lois pulled back the bedclothes and encouraged him to lie down. She
hesitated. For decency's sake, she should probably grab her spare quilt and
pillow and sleep on the couch. But she didn't really want to. The thought
of having Superman so close to her, even though he was rapidly falling
asleep, was too tempting.

She rationalised her decision with the thought that as he was still cold,
she could help to warm him with her body heat.

Moving to the other side of her double bed, she pulled back the covers and
slid in beside him. His eyes flickered open. "Lois?"

"I'm right here, Superman."

"Thanks, Lois," he murmured weakly. "I... knew I could count on you."

"Always," she assured him. "You must know how much I care about you."

Clark swallowed, barely aware of his surroundings, just knowing that he was
close to Lois, the woman he loved. She had moved closer still, wrapping her
arms around his waist, pulling his big body next to her slender one. He
instinctively wrapped his arms around her. "I care about you too, Lois," he
murmured drowsily. "So much..." His head fell against her shoulder, and he
slept.

Lois lay awake for some time, simply listening to his breathing. At first
it was even; after a while it became laboured and he started to thrash
about. His head tossed back and forth on the pillow, and he started to cry
out in agitation. His words were almost incoherent at first, but gradually
they started to make sense to Lois, and she realised that he was reliving
his flight back to Earth and to her apartment. He had been so close to
losing consciousness through lack of oxygen, it seemed. He had held his
breath so long that his lungs had felt like they were on fire. Then, when
he had finally re-entered the Earth's atmosphere, he had been so weakened
that he could barely fly and had been at the mercy of the appalling weather
conditions. It was a miracle that he had managed to make it to her
apartment, she realised.

Trying to calm him, Lois touched his face with her fingertips and realised
that he was feverish. His ravings were now delirious, and he was trying to
kick the covers off.

She slipped from the bed and went into the bathroom; soaking a towel in
cold water, she returned and bathed his face with it. The rest of his body
now seemed to be burning up; with difficulty she pulled off the sweatshirt
and bathed his chest with the damp towel.

After Lois had made several trips to the bathroom to refresh the towel,
Superman seemed to calm a little. Lois slipped back into bed and wrapped
her arms around him again. He stirred and pulled her into the curve of his
body, her breasts against his bare chest.

"Superman?" she enquired, wondering if he was awake. She reached up with
her hand and brushed his damp hair away from his face. His head turned, and
his mouth brushed lightly against her palm. She stared at him; his eyelids
were open, and his brown eyes looked intently into hers.

Neither of them moved for a few moments; neither of them could have said
how long.

Then Superman dipped his head, and at the same moment Lois stretched up
towards him. Their mouths met and fused in a passionate kiss which seemed
to go on for an eternity. His arms pressed her body even closer to his, and
she wrapped her arms around his waist, loving the feel of his bare skin
against her.

They made love; it was almost like a dream, Lois thought afterwards.
Neither of them spoke; they simply touched and moved and kissed. Somehow
her nightshirt disappeared, and a short while afterwards she realised that
he was no longer wearing the shorts she had given him. When they came
together, she felt no awkwardness or discomfort; it was as if their bodies
had been meant for each other.

Afterwards, they held each other. Superman quickly drifted off to sleep
again, though Lois remained awake for a little longer. She lay watching
him, running a finger very gently along his upper arm. Close to sleep
herself, she murmured happily, "Superman, I love you."

*****************

Lois stretched as the morning light penetrated her bedroom, and as she came
to full consciousness, she remembered the events of the previous night. She
reached out to the other side of the bed to feel...

Nothing.

He was gone.

Throwing back the covers, Lois searched for her robe and pulled it on over
her naked body. She hurried out of the bedroom; perhaps he was in the
bathroom? The kitchen? But he was nowhere in the apartment.

The sweatshirt and shorts he had worn the night before were still on the
floor in the bedroom where they had been thrown. The super-suit was still
in her washing machine, waiting to be taken out and dried. But its owner
had vanished.

Lois knew that she had not dreamt his presence in her apartment - his suit
was evidence enough of that. And the stiffness in certain parts of her
anatomy was proof, if proof were needed, that she had not dreamt the events
of the early hours of the morning. She *had* made love with Superman.

But why had he left without a word? Did he regret what had happened?

Lois felt hurt; she had not imagined Superman to be the kind of man who
would satisfy his desires and then leave before his partner awoke.
Admittedly, he hadn't intended making love with her. He had come to her for
help; neither of them had intended what had happened. But still... why had
he left without a word?

***************

Landing silently on the balcony of his apartment at about four in the
morning, Clark hurried inside to pull on some clothes. He had wakened a
short time before to find himself naked in Lois's bed, next to her, with
little recollection of how he had got there. The last thing he remembered
was Lois persuading him to get into the shower. Afraid that Lois would
wake, see him and realise that he was Clark, he had slipped silently and
carefully out of the bed, and without bothering to find his suit, had flown
home naked, confident that the darkness of the night would hide him for the
short time it would take him to get back. He had not recovered his full
strength yet, but the brief trip took only a matter of minutes.

He would recover his suit another time, he assured himself. He could visit
Lois in a day or two, telling her that an emergency had come up and he'd
gone off to get a spare suit. He could also thank her then for her help, he
reflected, as he remembered that he had been in such a hurry to leave that
he hadn't even left a note.

Still exhausted, he dragged himself into his bedroom and collapsed on the bed.

***************

Arriving at the Planet's offices, Lois saw that, according to the TV
screens which were continually tuned to the news channels, Superman still
appeared to be missing. This was the big story of the day, attracting even
more attention than the political scandal. Knowing that Superman had in
fact made it back from stopping the asteroid meant that Lois was less
concerned than the newscasters appeared to be. However, her feelings were
torn between anger at his walking out on her and worry that he still might
be ill.

<If only I knew where to find him!> she thought.

Some hours later, Clark appeared from the elevator. As Lois glanced up and
caught sight of him walking down the ramp, she thought that he looked
tired. His movements were slower than usual, and his face was weary.

"You're late," she commented to him. "I could have used your help with
writing up this asteroid follow-up."

"Sorry, Lois," Clark apologised, crossing to her desk. "I didn't get to
sleep until really late, and I just couldn't seem to wake up this morning.
I don't really feel too good right now."

Lois assessed her partner. He really didn't look too good. "Take a couple
of aspirins, Clark," she suggested, her tone less sympathetic than she
might have sounded if her mind hadn't still been focused on the whereabouts
of Superman.

She began to explain to him where she had got to on the story, but after a
few moments she noticed that his attention had wandered.

"Earth to Clark!" she called aggressively. She needed her partner to
concentrate, not daydream.

"Er... sorry, Lois, I was..." Clark gestured towards the TV screens.
"What's that they're saying about Superman?"

Lois stared at him. "You really have been out of it, Clark, haven't you?
What have you been doing for the last twenty-four hours? Superman went to
stop the asteroid -"

"I know that, Lois."

"Well, he managed to break it up, but the reporters at EPRAD say that
no-one has had contact with him since. EPRAD wouldn't confirm it at first,
but in the last hour they finally admitted that they lost voice contact
with Superman not long after he left the moon's orbit, and that their
tracking system couldn't find him after the asteroid destructed." Lois
paused, half-wondering whether to tell Clark that Superman had visited her
last night and that she knew he was safe, but something stopped her. She
didn't really want anyone to know what had happened at her apartment. And
anyway, she didn't actually know whether Superman was safe. She had no idea
what might have happened to him after he'd left her.

But Clark wasn't waiting for any further information. His hand on his tie
in what Lois recognised as one of his nervous gestures, he was saying, "I'm
sorry, Lois - can we continue this later? I've... uh, I've gotta go." As he
spoke, he was already hurrying off in the direction of the elevator.

Lois watched him go, exasperated. First he didn't come into work until
nearly midday; then he left almost immediately. Sometimes, Clark Kent was
worse than useless as a partner.

*****************

Clark flew to EPRAD, wondering how he could have forgotten that he needed
to give the scientists a report on the asteroid's composition and the
likely destination of the pieces now that he had shattered it. Arriving at
the headquarters, he flew quickly to avoid being noticed by the reporters
still waiting outside the protective fence and made his way to a rear
entrance. Attracting the attention of a security guard, he was admitted to
the building and escorted to the scientists and defence chiefs who were
anxiously awaiting him.

*****************

"And EPRAD has just announced that Superman has returned and has been
briefing top personnel for the past half-hour. A press conference will be
held in one hour." Lois looked up at the excited voice of the LNN
newscaster, and on assimilating the information jumped to her feet and
grabbed her bag.

"Jimmy! Tell Perry I'm on my way over to EPRAD for the press conference!"
she yelled, on her way to the elevator.

******************

General Arthurs, sent to Metropolis from the Pentagon, and then EPRAD's
head scientist, had both spoken and answered questions for some minutes on
the fate of the asteroid, reassuring their audience that the planet was no
longer in any danger from a potential collision. Superman had stood behind
them, waiting for them to finish their part of the press conference.

At last it was his turn, and the reporters and photographers all surged
forward, eager to be able to catch his eye and get a question in. He held
up his hand, silently asking them to allow him to speak.

"You've heard that I managed to shatter the asteroid last night," he said,
more calmly than he felt. "I have apologised to EPRAD for failing to return
and report on progress last night, and I apologise to you also. I don't
have any memory of what happened after my collision with the asteroid.
Obviously I managed to get back to Earth somehow, but I have no idea either
how or when. I woke up a couple of hours ago and it was as if twelve hours
of my life had simply vanished."

Lois, listening, stood as if turned to stone. He didn't *remember* anything
about last night! They had slept together; it had been the most perfect
experience of her life - and he had no memory of it.

But that still didn't explain why he had left when he had, or what he had
been doing between then and a couple of hours ago. Sleeping, it appeared
from his explanation - but where? And had he *really* forgotten what had
happened, or was that version simply for public consumption? Perhaps...
perhaps he really had had a good reason for leaving, and he would come to
see her later to explain. Yes, that was probably it, Lois considered
hopefully.

Jostled by another reporter, Lois became aware again of her surroundings.
It appeared that the press conference had finished, since Superman was
floating upwards preparatory to flying away. Lois realised that she had not
actually asked a single question; she had better write up a good account of
Superman's return, or Perry would not be happy.

When Lois arrived back at the Planet, Clark was at his desk, typing
speedily at his computer. Lois glared at him. "Where did you get to
earlier?"

He looked across at her, guiltily, it seemed to Lois. "I - had to do
something. It was important."

"It's always important with you," Lois replied grumpily. "I don't know how
you ever get any work done." She got herself some coffee, then came over to
his desk, noticing as she approached that her partner still seemed a little
paler than usual. "What're you working on?"

"A sidebar explaining the technical information about the asteroid - speed,
density, structure and so on," Clark explained.

"Oh." Lois was secretly quite happy that Clark was covering that aspect of
the story; geology and the density of space rocks were not exactly the kind
of subjects which she found riveting. "I just covered the EPRAD press
conference - do you know that Superman's claiming he doesn't remember
anything about what happened after he hit the asteroid until a few hours
ago?" she told her partner.

Clark paused his typing to look up at Lois. "Claiming?"

"OK, I guess he's telling the truth - after all, Superman doesn't lie, does
he?" Lois replied, a little begrudgingly.

"Lois, what's up? You're not normally like that about Superman," Clark
observed, surprised.

"Like what?" Lois demanded.

"Critical - sceptical," Clark replied, watching his partner carefully. He
was so used to her hero-worship of his *alter ego* that this attitude came
as quite a surprise.

Lois realised that she had better pull herself together. If she didn't want
Clark - or anyone - to know what had happened last night, she had to behave
normally. She shrugged. "I guess I'm just a bit tired - I was watching LNN
until quite late last night. And anyway, Superman should have known that
people would have been worried about him - it just seems to me that he took
his time letting people know he got back to Earth all right."

Clark regarded Lois thoughtfully. Of course she would have been worried;
whatever else he had forgotten, he clearly remembered saying goodbye to
Lois outside the EPRAD headquarters. She had kissed him as if she was
really concerned for his safety. Oh well, she knew now that he was safe;
there was nothing further he could do.

Lois, unaware of her partner's thoughts, returned to her desk to write up
the information from the press conference. Clark quickly finished his story
and, on hearing a news bulletin that there was a pile-up on an expressway
just outside the city, escaped with the excuse that he was going to do some
research at the university library.

*****************

"Clark, honey, are you *sure* you're OK?" Martha Kent asked, concerned.

"Yeah, Mom, I'm fine. I promise." Clark twisted the telephone wire around
his hand as he spoke. He couldn't blame his parents for being concerned,
and he felt guilty at not having contacted them as soon as he'd wakened
that morning. He had just explained to them that he remembered nothing
before awakening in bed in his apartment at almost noon.

"I'm still a bit tired, I guess, and my powers seem - a little sluggish,"
he added. "But apart from that, there's no problem."

Apart from the fact that he was missing a suit, he thought. He had no idea
what had happened to the suit he had been wearing when he'd left EPRAD the
previous day. All he knew was that he had not been wearing it when he'd
awoken, and it was not anywhere in his apartment. He wondered whether it
had somehow been burned off him on his re-entry to the Earth's atmosphere.
Well, he had a number of spare suits, and his Mom would make him more
whenever he wanted.

****************

Lois folded the super-suit which by now had dried. She was aware that she
needed to find an opportunity to return it, but given Superman's apparent
memory loss it was going to be embarrassing to explain how she had come to
have it in her possession.

<Superman, you spent the night at my apartment...> Doing what? Errr...

<Superman, you came here cold and wet, and I made you take a shower; then
you left without your suit...> So what was he wearing? Why did he leave?

<Why did he leave?> Lois had asked herself that question hundreds of times.
Clearly, Superman had wakened up at some stage during the night, realised
where he was - and who he was with - and had decided that he didn't want to
be there. Maybe he had remembered when he awoke that he had made love with
Lois, maybe he hadn't; either way, he hadn't wanted to stick around to
talk. *That* was what made the situation difficult. Did he regret what had
happened? Would he simply prefer not to remember?

But, on the other hand, Lois mused, he had actually told her how much he
cared about her. His manner had been gentle, considerate... loving. He had
not satiated his lust in a purely mechanical way. Which seemed to suggest
that... she meant something to him. Maybe he even... loved her.

And surely that meant that even if he'd forgotten about their night
together, he still cared for her, and sooner or later they would be
together. He would come to her, tell her how he felt, and she could tell
him how she felt, and - maybe - she would tell him that they had made love,
but it wouldn't matter then because she would know for sure how he felt
and...

<Stop babbling, Lois!> she instructed herself.

She placed the suit carefully at the bottom of her closet, along with the
sweatshirt of Clark's which Superman had worn for such a brief time.

****************

- Ten weeks later -

Lois bent over the toilet and retched yet again. This was the fourth
morning this week that she had wanted to throw up shortly after getting out
of bed. The first time, she had thought she must have eaten something which
disagreed with her; by the second day, she wondered if she had some sort of
flu bug. But she usually felt all right by late morning, so she couldn't
understand what was the matter.

It *would* have to happen this morning as well, she thought viciously.
Clark was due to arrive in just a few minutes; they were going straight
over to City Hall to interview the new Mayor for a Planet exclusive. The
mayor had granted the interview on condition that it could be over by nine
am. It was after seven already and Lois wasn't even dressed.

Washing her face and hoping that the bout of sickness had passed, Lois ran
over the list of questions for the interview in her head. She dressed
hurriedly in a smart red suit which was a favourite of hers, although she
hadn't worn it for a few weeks. The skirt button seemed difficult to fasten.

"What on earth... this fitted *perfectly* last time I wore it!" she
muttered in annoyance. "I *can't* have put on weight!"

She managed to fasten the button, and as she was slipping into her shoes,
there was a sharp knock on the door.

"Coming!" she yelled.

"Sorry, Clark, I'm running a little late," she apologised, opening the door
and immediately turning back towards the bedroom. "Just gotta do my makeup,
and then I'll be with you."

Clark strolled into the apartment, looking unconcerned and quite stylish in
a charcoal suit in which Lois secretly thought - but would never have
admitted - he wouldn't have looked out of place in a style magazine. "Slow
down, Lois, we don't have to leave immediately."

Lois swung back to face him. "Did you bring the spare batteries for the
tape recorder?"

"Sure - Lois, are you all right?" Clark asked, concerned, noticing the
paleness of her face and dark traces under her eyes.

"Yes... no," she confessed, allowing her whole body to slump a little as
her voice became less assured. "Clark, I don't know what's wrong with me.
I've been getting sick the last few mornings, and I feel so tired all the
time. I think I might be getting the flu or something."

Clark crossed the room quickly and slipped his arm comfortingly around
Lois's shoulders. "Hey, if you're sick you should stay in bed. I can manage
the interview on my own."

"No, I have to go," Lois protested weakly. "The mayor wanted both of us,
and I'm a professional. I'll be fine. Just give me a couple of minutes to
finish getting ready."

"OK." Clark hugged her lightly and stepped away, preparing to wait.

The interview went well, and on the way back to the Planet Clark suggested
stopping for coffee and a donut. Lois agreed happily, but once her large
cafe mocha had been placed in front of her, she felt her stomach revolt
again. Clamping her hand over her mouth, she ran for the ladies' room.

Clark was waiting outside when she emerged. "Lois, were you sick again?"

She nodded weakly, trying to fight back tears. *Why* did she feel so wretched?

"Come on. I'm taking you home," Clark insisted firmly. He put his arm
around her and guided her out of the cafe. Lois gratefully leaned on him.
Clark could be such a sweetheart at times, and despite her occasional
impatience with him she was well aware that he was a good friend in times
of need.

Outside, Clark looked around for a taxi; not seeing one immediately he
turned to Lois, wondering how he could phrase what was on his mind. He
spoke hesitantly. "Lois, this sickness you've been having... could it be,
ah... could you be... pregnant?"

Lois stared at him in shock. Pregnant!

Clark looked back at her, his compassionate brown eyes taking in her
reaction. "I guess it's... possible, then?"

Lois forced herself to concentrate on the possibility. It was now over two
months since the night Superman had nearly died destroying the asteroid.
They had not used contraception, and now that she thought about it, she had
not had a period since. Lois was normally very regular, and it now
surprised her that she hadn't noticed the absence of her normal monthly
cycle. And the sickness, and the skirt which no longer fit... Yes, it was
*very* possible that she was pregnant. And if she was... she was carrying
Superman's child.

<Oh my God> she cried silently.

She turned to Clark. "Yes, it's... possible. I guess." She tried to think
of what she should do next; her mind was awhirl with unconnected thoughts.
<I need to be sure... a baby... I need a test... where's Superman...>

"Clark, can we get to a pharmacy?" she asked anxiously.

He thought. "There's one a couple of blocks from here - can you walk that
far, or do you want to wait for a cab?"

"I can walk," Lois insisted. "That is - if you don't mind me leaning on you
- I still feel a little light-headed."

"Of course not, Lois," he assured her. "That's what friends are for, remember."

They walked together to the pharmacy, where Lois purchased a couple of
pregnancy tests, and then took a cab to her apartment. Clark hesitated as
Lois opened the door, unsure whether she would want him around. "Look,
Lois, if you'd rather be alone..."

She stared at him, wild-eyed. "No, I don't want to be alone. I need to...
to find out if I *am* pregnant, and if I am... it'd help to have a friend
to talk to."

Clark entered the room, closing the door behind him. "In that case, I'll
stay as long as you want me."

In the bathroom, Lois paced up and down counting the seconds after she had
performed the test. Finally it was time, and she grabbed the plastic wand
and stared at it.

Positive.

Definitely pregnant.

Shocked, she rushed back into the living room, clutching the test, and
waved it at Clark. He stared at it for a moment, then mumbled, "Lois, errr
... I don't like to show my ignorance, but how do these things work?"

"I *am* pregnant, Clark," she wailed.

Clark just looked at her, hoping that his expression didn't reveal his
reaction to her words. His own emotions were in turmoil. He loved Lois; now
she was pregnant by another man. She had been *sleeping* with another man
in the last few months. Sure, he had no claim over her, he realised; they
were friends and that was all. But he couldn't help being jealous and
feeling as if all of his hopes had been dashed with the simple wave of a
little plastic wand.

On the other hand, he acknowledged, Lois clearly had not planned this
pregnancy, and by her reaction she didn't appear to be overjoyed about it.
And so far, she had not mentioned anything about a man who needed to be
told that he was going to be a father.

"Lois, come and sit down," he told her, taking her arm and trying to push
his own feelings to the back of his mind. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Lois simply stared at the test. It was still stubbornly showing positive.

"Wild guess - you're not exactly happy about being pregnant, are you,
Lois?" Clark suggested, trying a little humour in an attempt to make her
smile. It failed, miserably. Lois burst into tears.

"Clark - I don't want to be pregnant! I don't want to be a single mother!
I'm an investigate reporter, and I want to win a Pulitzer!" she sobbed.

Clark took her into his arms, cuddling her and stroking her hair, doing his
best to be the sympathetic friend that she clearly needed. Never mind that
his own emotions were screaming at him to get out of her apartment as fast
as he could manage, to take an express super-flight to the North Pole and
let his hurt and anger rip where no-one could hear him. "Lois, it's not the
end of the world. There are - lots of things you can do. We'll talk about
it, if you want. You know I'll help you."

Lois buried her head in the crook of his shoulder. "Clark, you're such a
great friend," she gasped almost incoherently.

Already hurting, Clark felt as if someone had just ripped his heart in two.
*Friend*; that was all he was to her, and all he was likely to be. "Lois,"
he began, trying again to ignore his own feelings, "surely you're not on
your own in this anyway. The baby's father -"

Lois sat up abruptly, pulling away from Clark. "No. Oh no. He... I can't
tell him."

"Why not, Lois?" Clark objected in amazement. "He has a right to know he's
going to be a father, whoever he is. And he has a responsibility towards
you and the baby."

Lois took in Clark's words, and considered them for a few moments. Should
she tell Superman that he had made her pregnant?

But he clearly remembered nothing of the hours he had spent at her
apartment that night. Lois had initially hoped that his memory would return
and that he would tell her why he had left; but although she had seen him
and spoken to him a couple of times in the intervening weeks, his manner
towards her was the same as it had always been. Pleasant, considerate...
impersonal. Not remotely like a lover or even an ex-lover. And he had not
visited her apartment at all since that night. She had finally accepted
that he simply did not remember making love to her, or even telling her
that he cared for her.

If she told him, would he even believe her?

And what would he do? Marry her? She almost snorted in self-disgust at the
thought.

Of course Superman wouldn't marry her. Not just because he didn't love her,
but because he *couldn't* marry her. Not leading the kind of life he did.
Superheroes just didn't marry reporters and live happily ever after in a
house with a white picket fence. Or even in her apartment.

No, it would be better if she didn't tell him.

But... this baby is Superman's; what if it inherits his super-powers? That
thought suddenly hit Lois with the force of an express-train. In that case,
Superman *should* be told. The child would be a Super-baby. How could she
ever explain that? Superman would need to be consulted, at least, on the
child's care and upbringing.

<Oh, I don't know!> Lois screamed silently.

<That's what you get for your Superman fixation!> she told herself sternly.

She turned to look at Clark, who had been watching her with a concerned
expression. "Lois, are you OK? I don't want to interfere, but... did the
baby's father hurt you in some way? Were you..." he hesitated, again unsure
whether to proceed, "were you... raped?"

Lois met his eyes, hers exhibiting shock. "No, Clark, I wasn't raped," she
hastened to assure him. "It was..." she paused, then inspiration struck,
"It was a... one-night stand. This guy and I... we just got carried away. I
didn't mean it to happen, and I guess I just forgot about contraception.
Stupid, I know."

"*Very* stupid, Lois," Clark said tightly, amazed that Lois could have
behaved in such a manner. It was... irresponsible. And dangerous. "You
could have caught *anything*. You know that."

"I know," she muttered. But not in this case, I think, she added silently.

"Clark, I want you to know that I don't... do that kind of thing all the
time. One-night stands, I mean. In fact, I've never done it before, which
is why I tried to forget about it, I guess. I never imagined I was
pregnant."

"And you don't want to contact the guy?" Clark asked again.

Lois shook her head firmly. <Not yet, anyway> "I'm going to do this on my own."

Clark put his arm around her shoulder again, compelled by his love for this
beautiful, stubborn, foolhardy... incredible woman. "You're not on your
own, Lois. I'm here for you, if you want me."

Lois seemed content, for a time at least, simply to sit cradled in Clark's
arms. In reality, her head was buzzing as she attempted to come to terms
with her situation. Pregnancy and motherhood were not things she had ever
really thought about. Lois's own childhood had not been especially
conducive to fostering a maternal instinct, she felt. Her career at the
Planet had seemed to fulfil her needs for a busy and successful life. If
she had ever contemplated a permanent - or semi-permanent - relationship
with a man, children had never really seemed to figure in the picture. Now,
like it or not she was going to be a mother. A single mother, at that. It
was a terrifying prospect.

Clark had been doing some thinking of his own, and after a while he spoke
again. "Lois, tell me it's none of my business if you want, but the father
of your child... it's not Luthor, is it?" The idea appalled him. He had
suspected that Luthor might be responsible almost from the first; he
couldn't think of any other man Lois might have been dating. If Lois was
having Lex Luthor's child... he shuddered at the possibility. With any
other man, Clark knew he would have felt jealousy; with the prospect of
Luthor's, involvement, he felt blind rage.

Lois sat up and stared at Clark in disbelief as his words cut into her
thoughts. He was so far from the truth that... She shook her head. "Clark,
no! Of course it's not Lex. I've never even slept with him - I'm not that
stupid. I realised some time ago that if I did, it would give him too much
power over me." She paused, then added, "Besides, if it had been his, I
would certainly have told him."

"OK, Lois. I'm sorry," Clark replied, relieved beyond words.

"It's all right. I guess I shouldn't be surprised you wondered. But Clark,
I'm not going to tell you, or anyone, who the father is," Lois insisted.
Clark was being very kind and understanding, but was asking too many
questions about her baby's parentage. She certainly had no intention of
telling him, particularly when the father himself didn't know anything
about it...

Clark made some weak tea then; he commented that if they'd been in his
apartment he would have made Lois herbal tea, and promised to ask his
mother which kinds were best for morning sickness. He sat next to her again
and, taking her hand in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, asked
whether she had any idea of what she wanted to do about the pregnancy.

"I... it's all so soon... I haven't had a chance to *think*," Lois complained.

"That's OK, Lois, but you have to decide quite soon if you don't want to go
ahead with the pregnancy," Clark pointed out. He wasn't exactly keen on the
termination option himself, but he was well aware that it was Lois's body,
and that even if the baby had been his - God, how he wished it was! - he
felt that it would still be her decision.

Lois stilled. She hadn't really considered that option up until now. For
all her adult life, Lois Lane had been a supporter of the woman's right to
choose; at college she had gone on demonstrations in defence of the Roe vs
Wade principle and opposing attempts to challenge abortion rights. But now
that it was her *own* child under consideration...

"No," she stated abruptly. "I can't do that. I can't kill my baby."

Clark squeezed Lois's hand, relieved but trying not to show it. "OK, that's
one decision taken. How about adoption, or do you want to bring up the baby
yourself? You said you weren't keen on single parenthood..." Clark *wanted*
to say so much more than that. He knew that if Lois permitted him, or even
if she gave the slightest hint that she wanted him to, he would be happy to
help her with the baby... to act in whatever capacity she wanted. The
realisation surprised him... a few minutes earlier, he had been ready to
run as far from Lois as he could get; now, he simply wanted to be with her
and to support her. He supposed that this was what loving someone entailed;
love could not be turned off like a tap simply because the object of the
love had found someone else.

Again Lois thought about what Clark had suggested. If this was a *normal*
baby, perhaps... But no. This was a Super baby; if she gave it up for
adoption, and it inherited Superman's powers... The scenario was too
dreadful to contemplate. No, adoption was out of the question.

"No, Clark, I'll keep my baby," she said decisively. She stood up abruptly,
regretting the suddenness as she felt momentarily dizzy. It didn't last,
however, and she turned to Clark and said that it was about time they went
into work.

"Not a word to anyone at the Planet about this, though!" she warned.

****************

Pregnant.

Lois lay in bed later that night musing over the way in which her life was
now going to change, without her agreement, without any way in which she
could affect it - at least, not without going down a path she already knew
she could not contemplate. The whole idea of pregnancy was completely alien
to her. Oh, she had friends from college who were now married and had kids,
but since Lois had never been particularly keen on children, she and her
friends had drifted apart. Lois had never been any good at listening to
long conversations about stretch marks, scans, blood and urine tests, and
baby movements. Nor was she particularly interested in admiring endless
baby photographs or in being left holding a screaming, squirming infant.

Now *she* was going to be the one with the screaming infant. Maybe she had
better try to get back in touch with some of her friends... if they were
still speaking to her!

It was all going to be so difficult... Wearily, she yawned and closed her eyes.

****************

"Waaaahhhhh"

The sound of the baby's cry disturbed Lois yet again. Frustrated, she saved
the file on her laptop computer and padded over to the crib which she had
set up in her living-room. She had barely managed to type two sentences
since the last interruption. Her son, not yet two months old, lay staring
up at her, his brown eyes creased and tears of anger and frustration
streaming down his cheeks. He had a very healthy pair of lungs, Lois well
knew; she was going to have to think very soon about moving out of her
apartment because the noise wasn't fair on her neighbours.

Tiredly she bent down and picked up the baby, cuddling him against her. She
was exhausted; she hadn't had a proper night's sleep since before he'd been
born. And in the last few days he just wouldn't stop crying. Every time she
thought she'd managed to get him off to sleep, he'd wakened a few minutes
later wailing loudly.

And her work was suffering. OK, she should have been on maternity leave,
but as she'd insisted to Perry, she would be bored stiff at home with a
baby all day and nothing to do, so she would be able to do some writing at
home. And after all, how much work could a little baby be?

Hah! That was a joke! Why hadn't anyone told her how much hard work was
involved in childcare? What kind of massive deception was practised on
childless women by those women who had kids? How come no-one had explained
that once you have a baby you can give up all hope of sleeping, eating,
having a conversation, going to the bathroom... any kind of normal
activity? The apartment was a mess. Discarded clothes lay all over her
bedroom, because she hadn't had time to put them away. Used dishes and
takeout wrappings littered the kitchen. The living-room was full of baby
clothes, bottles, packages of disposable diapers, unread newspapers and the
baby manuals and magazines she had ordered in desperation, none of which
had been the least help in coping with a real, live, crying baby. Lois
herself was still wearing her nightshirt and robe, not having had the time
or energy to shower and dress today.

Now her son simply wouldn't stop crying, and his wails grew louder and
louder. Lois tried walking up and down the room with him, rocking him in
her arms, but he only became more upset. She warmed his bottle in the
microwave, performing the tasks one-handed since she didn't want to put him
down and risk his cries getting louder still. But he didn't want food
either. His diaper was dry, so he didn't need changing.

What was wrong with him?

"Oh God, I'm a terrible mother!" Lois wailed, to no-one in particular.

***************

Lois sat up in bed, sweating. The nightmare had been so vivid that she was
still trembling. She reached for her bedside phone, and dialled a number
from memory.

<Please be in, please...>

"Hello?" The voice sounded groggy, barely awake.

"Clark? Oh, thank God you're there! I was afraid you might be out, and then
I'd have to leave a message, and then you might not get it for hours, and
then I might be asleep and dreaming again and..."

"Lois, calm down," Clark interrupted. "Please, tell me what's wrong." He
was alarmed, afraid that something was wrong with Lois, with the baby. He
threw back the bedclothes and prepared to make a dash to her apartment.

"Clark, I'm going to be a terrible mother," Lois wailed.

"Of course you're not!" he replied, very relieved that the problem was not
what he had been imagining. He wondered where on earth she had got that
idea from, and spoke firmly and reassuringly to her. "Lois, you'll make a
wonderful mother. You're strong, independent and intelligent, and any child
with you as a mother will have an excellent role model. You'll be great."

"Clark, that's really nice of you," Lois sobbed, "but I don't believe it.
I'll be awful. I
won't be able to cope."

"What makes you think that?" Clark asked in deliberately level tones,
trying to encourage Lois to calm down.

"I just had this awful nightmare..." Lois detailed the events to Clark.
"...and in the end I just couldn't stop him crying, and I didn't know what
to do. I don't want to have to cope all on my own!"

Clark paused before speaking; he suspected he knew what was really
bothering Lois. "Lois, are you worried about not being a good mother, or
about having to manage on your own?"

Lois, now a little calmer, considered this. "I'm not sure, Clark - I think
it's probably a bit of both. I really can't see myself as a mother. And I
know a lot of women bring up kids on their own, very successfully, but I
just don't think I can!"

Clark tucked the phone under his chin as he ran his hands through his hair.
By now wide awake, he had lain back down on his bed. "Lois, there's a long
way to go yet - you've got plenty of time to work all of these things out.
And I promised you, you won't be on your own. I'll help you in any way I
can. All you have to do is ask."

"Oh Clark!" wailed Lois. "You're... such a great friend."

"Yeah, Lois, so you said," Clark replied, with a wry expression on his
face. If only he could stop being a *friend* and move on to something
more... "Lois," he added, "do you want me to come over?"

"Oh, that's sweet of you, but I couldn't ask you. I mean, it's late, and
you were asleep..." Lois replied wistfully.

"Look, if you want me, I'll come," Clark promised. "You know it doesn't
matter what time of day or night it is, I'll always be there if you need
me." He prepared again to get out of bed, but Lois's reply stopped him.

"No, Clark, it's kind of you, but I'm all right now. You really helped me,
you know?"

"I'm glad, Lois. You sleep well."

"Yeah, you too, Clark. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Lois." Clark replaced the receiver and lay back on the pillows,
thinking. He had always wanted children; it was one of the things he really
wanted out of life. A job he enjoyed, a wife, a nice house, and kids.
Perhaps a few cats or a dog as well. As he reflected on his dreams, a
picture came into his mind, of two children playing in a back garden. The
boy was bigger, possibly a couple of years older; tall, with dark hair and
eyes like Clark. The girl had dark brown hair and eyes, and a smile... a
very familiar smile which had the power to melt Clark's heart. A smile
identical to that of her mother... Lois.

It was no good. Clark had known almost as soon as he met Lois that she was
the woman he wanted to marry, to be the mother of his children.

Now she was going to have someone else's child. He wanted to find the man
whose child she was carrying, to make him see just what he was missing, the
precious gift he should be cherishing. He clenched his fists and grimaced.
Lois had told him, she had made it very clear: it was none of his business
who her child's father was.

And anyway, he argued fiercely with himself, anyone who could treat Lois
Lane as just a - a one-night stand obviously did not appreciate her. Would
never appreciate her as he, Clark, did. The baby's father did not deserve
Lois or her child.

*He*, Clark, would be there for her.

Part 2