Report and pictures by TeriOT

WOW WOW WOW !!
I am recently back from my first Star Trek Convention and can't believe what an outstandingly good time I had. It wasn't all fun and games, my roomie {{Terri}} sprained her ankle in the airport, my ride from the airport {{Sally}} got a flat tire and the hotel was straight out of a Stephen King novel. Other than that........

GETTING STARTED
Our weekend started at Ho Jo's Mid-town with lost room reservations and considerable frustration. The promoter, Joe Motes was hanging out in the lobby so we went to talk to him. He was very sympathetic as the hotel had managed to lose *his* room reservation as well. (This was to become a running theme (joke) for the weekend). Joe is very approachable and more than willing to do what he can to make con goers happy. He is also a talker and a teller of (tall?) tales. He was quite free with gossip about our man, Robert but I wouldn't repeat anything he said in a public forum.

I had organized a mailing list for friends headed to the con and we ended up almost 25 members strong. There were also a number of other acquaintances from other lists and messages boards, so I was constantly meeting folks that I knew. Half the fun was putting names to faces and meeting people that I've only known through the internet. I was overwhelmed by how friendly and wonderful all these people were.

Friday at the con is a time for getting organized and figuring out who is who. All the images are a blur. I can remember checking out the dealer rooms (in the basement and of course, the elevator didn't work); trying to find a place to eat and wandering around, lost, looking for the projection room (Joe came to our rescue). Driving around Atlanta, totally lost, looking for a Kinkos. We met for drinks in one of the attendees hotel room, and introduced ourselves. We also finished collecting money (for a donation in Robert's name to the National Downs Syndrome Society), passed out buttons (made by my roomie for our group) and unveiled our banner (thanks again to roomie).

You haven't lived until you have watched an RB movie with a bunch of women who have only one thing on their collective mind - WE WANT TO SEE THE BUTT SHOT !!! Late night entertainment at the con consisted of drooling in a dark room with friends. (Don't tell my husband any of this ;-D)

We watched Kiss Me a Killer with an ongoing commentary from the peanut gallery that left me in stitches. I think the next one up was Eating Raoul. I forget which one had the memorable "tent" shot. (Now what exactly do you suppose is under that sheet anyway?) I know that on Saturday night we watched Latino - "Rewind the BUTT shot" !!! I dumped an entire glass of Tequila on the carpet and Caroline decided to match that with Gin-on-a-chair.

THE BIG EVENT
Saturday morning was spent in the emergency room tending to Terri's foot problems. The afternoon was, of course, the highlight of the event - ROBERT .... IN PERSON !!

The opening act was Richard Biggs from B5 and he was really quite enjoyable. I don't watch that show, so, I wasn't as involved as many in the audience but I found him to be very interesting and amusing. But let's face it folks - I was just killing time waiting for - THE MAN !

Robert Beltran is 10 times more attractive in person than in any photograph or film that I've seen (and I've seen 'em all!). He has *SOMETHING* that a camera simply doesn't convey. He is also NOTHING like the character he plays on Star Trek. Robert has an incredibly mobile face, he is a clown, he loves to laugh and make others laugh. The hour he spent on stage flew past. My memory stinks but I'll try to relate a few memorable moments.

Joe introduced RB and he just stood there for several minutes while the cameras went wild. To be perfectly honest, he could have probably just stood there the entire hour and better than half the audience would have gone away happy.

He was wearing a patterned silk shirt, worn loose over dark (I think) pants. His hair was kind of messed up and he looked like he just fell out of bed. (This is not a bad thing <snerk>). He has a habit of running his hand through his hair and kind of ....shaking it...along his scalp which would explain the messy hair. I can't even remember what he wore Sunday but it was also lose and comfy looking. He doesn't seem to worry about his wardrobe too much.

He turned most questions into a joke and can milk a laugh as well as anyone. I can't remember what happened on Saturday and what was on Sunday but here are some moments that I do remember.

He started by saying he had been met by a bunch of Klingons and then went on to do an hilarious impression of Klingons-with-a-Southern-accent.

Robert did a skit of Chakotay and Janeway (played by the microphone stand) that was hysterical. He would start to hold the mic stand and then pull away suddenly as if he'd accidentally touched the wrong part of the captain's anatomy. He was using the most outrageous come-on lines to her and he would then impersonate her voice for her responses.

"You're gonna blow your chance with me if you keep this up".
"Commander, I have no idea what you're talking about".

He made several references to the monkey (in Resolutions) and ended it by walking away from the stand "Bitch". He did a similar thing on Sunday with a full-size KJ cutout provided by someone in the audience.

Someone asked him about his writing credits for the lyrics to a song (in Eating Raoul). He smirked and then started singing the song - lovely voice. He convinced the non-Spanish song writer that he could write Spanish lyrics (he says his Spanish is NOT good), and he now gets a nice little residual cheque that he's putting away for his kid's college fund.

He was asked if he was married and he said, "No, but my wife's been married for 13 years. We have 2 kids bla...bla...bla..." He eventually got around to saying that he is not, and has never been, married. He says he's been too busy building his career but as he sees all his friends getting married and having children, he thinks that maybe he's missing something and he's finally open to the idea for the first time in his life. Even though this was a pretty serious response, he managed to work a few laughs into it. "I have a house,.....a cat,........a king-size bed <g>..............." [audience goes wild]. He made some crack about he should have brought marriage applications with him to the con - "Why didn't someone remind me?"

He made a point on Sunday of asking three ladies in the front row up to the stage. He introduced them and told the audience that they had been instrumental in the success of his Hamlet production by bringing everyone they'd ever met to the play.

Our donation co-ordinator {{Rita}} stood up and explained about our donation and the (rather LARGE) banner on the back wall. She read it aloud "Lots of Computer Literate Women With Two Months to Plan - God Help Poor Mr B !!" RB was ROTFLOL !!

Robert has a wicked sense of humour and I can see how someone could mis-interpret his intentions. He teased one poor lady to death because she had a *LOOK* on her face.

"What's your problem? Have I offended you in some way? Aren't you having fun?"

He really did rib her unmercifully. He later went down into the audience to speak to her, waved off the microphone guy "This is private" and then went back up on stage. "She says she expected me to be this *serious* guy and I'm just a *nut* !"

He did some impressions of Garrett doing Kate. He did Neelix and a killer impression of the Doctor.

He had some fun with the Southern accent. He clearly couldn't understand some of the questions being asked of him. One young boy asked when he would *rank* the captain. He responded, "When am I gonna rank on the captain? " [eye rolls] After a couple of tries, someone explained that he meant, when would Chakotay get promoted? He said he was happy just getting to sit in the seat and didn't want to get promoted ..."but thanks for the thought".

He said his mom is 78 and his father died in 198...4(?). He has 9 siblings and he is the seventh of ten. The audience HOWLED! He honestly didn't get it. After repeating it slowly to him about three times he looked kind of sheepish and said, "oh". He talked a bit about 7 of 9 and mentioned that Jeri Ryan is from Chicago and has a toddler. He made quite a joke about the fact that Chakotay would never leave his Captain for Seven or anyone else.

He commented on one lady's hat and another's smile. He often would catch the eye of someone in the audience and share a smile with them. He's a pacer and frequently would stop to take a drink of water. He mentioned that he had next to no sleep and was starving. He asked if anyone in the audience had food and people starting bringing food up to him (which he didn't eat).

He mentioned doing an audition for Leonard Nimoy for one of the Star Trek movies. The part was a Klingon Officer, he was getting ready to read in front of a whole panel of people and Nimoy asked him if he had any questions. He said he just had one, "What is a Klingon?". He didn't get the part.

Stupidist question at con award
Guy: What I don't understand is....if you're in the Delta Quadrant, and you're trying to get back to the Alpha Quadrant, why don't you go through the Gamma Quadrant and use the Wormhole?
RB: [scratches head, rolls eyes. Puts finger on nose and then points at the Guy] GENIUS !!!

Best laugh at con award
A young girl in the front row raised her hand to ask a question. He bent down and asked her what she wanted to say. (He's always super-nice to kids).
Girl : How does it feel to be an action figure [thrusts Chak doll into his face]
RB : [LOL] Can I see that? looks at doll mildly confused]
Girl : I'm sorry it's bent so weird, but my mom was playing with it.
RB : [ROTFLOL covering face with hand, bent over double]
Audience : [HOWLING !!!!]
RB : This is why I come to cons, for a moment like this. Where's your mom sweetheart?
Girl : [points] RB : *You're* her mom?!?! Hey didn't we......

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
After the stage event, everyone lines up for an autograph. No personalizations, no photos with the star, bla.....bla.....bla...... Robert doesn't seem to buy into these rules very well. He frequently will personalize if you ask (and have a good story...or if he recognizes you from elsewhere). He is also very free with hugs and kisses. He is especially nice to kids and folks who have a disability.

We (all 20+ of us) hung around the autograph table all afternoon because we were promised a group photo with RB (the donation - remember?). It was hotter than Hades and Robert was an absolute prince through the whole thing. Even though he had already mentioned that his back was killing him, he signed and smiled, he shook hands and kissed babies and the last person got the same degree of attention as the first. He clearly knew we were there waiting for him and he occassionally threw a glance and a smile our way.

We all got together for our group photo. Being list-mom (and pushy), I just muscled my way to the front so I got to kneel down next to Robert for the photo. He gave me such a *LOOK*. It was half "LOL" and half "I-guess-we-don't-mess-with-the-red-head". Anyway, I didn't end up with the best spot, that honour goes to Lindy who stood behind him and massaged his shoulders. (Remember *that* for next time <g>). However, I did get full thigh contact ::::Splash::::

As he left, we were all huddled together watching him (wadda'ya mean, "watching his butt"?) leave..... and we let out a collective ::SIGH:: that echoed through the empty ballroom. He turned and LOOKED back at us....... LOL !!!

Terri and I ran into him in the hall later that day. He stopped and said something sweet to her (don't ask me what cause I've discovered that dimples can render your brain cells inactive), and then ......... well........, you see, I had Terri's crumpled up bag in my hand, so he took my forearm in one hand and shoulder in the other and said "It was really nice to meet you". Then the "dimple-effect" made it's way to my motor cortex and I was unable to hold on to that little bag. ::PLOP:: bag drops to the floor. (I'm walking backwards by now) and I reached down to grab it but he beat me to it, picked it up, put it in my hand, "Bye" . TeriOT dissolves in little puddle in middle of hall floor. He is reeeaaaalllly nice to look at!

I had another golden moment in Sunday's autograph line. He asked my name and then read it off my tag before I could manage to make my mouth work. "Theresa". Looks up at me with a glint in his eye, blinked and then proceeded to give me the autograph. I have no idea what that was about but I know that *I* was thinking about "Kiss Me a Killer". [It pays to have a rich fantasy life <bg>]. He asked me what I did [for a living] and I told him I was an Occupational Therapist,
"Would you like me to fix your back for you?"
"Sure"
[Teri just grinned and moved on.] ( Had I any sense at all, I would have just zipped behind that table and given him a massage. (Remember *that* for next time too !))

I simply couldn't leave without thanking him so a little later on, Ms Teri-bold-as-brass cuts into the line to thank him for coming to the con

T : This was my first con and I had a blast ... Thank you !
RB: You're leaving ?!?
T : We have to catch our ride (what? You think I'm gonna hide in your suitcase?)
RB: I'm really glad you could make it.....
.......and he took my hand in his, stood up, leaned over the table and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek....and yes....I kissed him back (not a hint of whiskers - lovely !)
::::::::SIGH::::::::::: not to mention ::::::::::SPLASH:::::::::::

Great, great weekend !!! Baltimore is only ......6 months away?...better start planning now.

TeriOT

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